Men: here are five reasons why you should be the primary bread winner.

I know this seems like an outlandish idea to many, but let me explain in five short steps.

One: Time. There is simply not enough time in the day to hold down a full time job and care for children, and run a household the right way. I know this from experience, as both my wife and I work full time. If you decide to go this route, you will soon find that important tasks will be left undone, and your home will exist in a state of general chaos. Also, it will be be less likely that your children will learn basic life skills, such as how to cook and clean properly, organize a fridge, separate light laundry from dark, write a thank-you card, use tools, and fix things. (Both boys and girls should know how to do all of these things).

Plus, you will often find that you are plunking a screen in front of your child, because you are too tired to give them the human to human contact that they actually need.

Two: Stress. It is astonishing to me that it has become the default model for both parents to work full time outside of the home, and the children to go into daycare, from a very young age. If both parents work full time, it is about ten times more stressful than if one parent works full time. I know this first-hand, because I have experienced it both ways.

If both parents have a career, then life becomes a never ending marathon of running frantically from home, to the daycare center, to work, back to the daycare center, and back home. Somehow, in between all of this running around, a way must be found to get groceries from the store and into the fridge, and food from the fridge and onto the table. Many important tasks are left undone, and stress builds for children and parents both. if a child is sick, or the daycare center or school is closed, then a parent must take time off from work. Often, parents will find that they must either neglect their children for the sake of their job, or neglect their job for the sake of their children.

Through all of this, a greater share of the burden will fall on your wife. This is because she will end up taking on more of the childcare and house-work tasks, because she is naturally better at it than you are, and better able to see what needs to be done in this area. So she will end up doing all of this on top of her full time job.

I have heard parents from two-income families described their work-week as “crisis mode.” This is a tragedy, but it doesn’t have to be this way.

Three: It is possible. There is an amazingly common and persistent lie going round that it is no longer economically possible in these days for a man to support a family on his income alone. This opinion is total rubbish. Yes, it is true that you cannot just casually saunter out into the world, take any available job, and expect to support your family with it. You must have a strong intention. You must set it as your primary goal that you will develop a career that will support your family.

If you are inclined to study, then go in for something like law, medicine, accounting, or engineering. If you are a people person, go into sales. If you are entrepreneurially inclined, be a businessman. If you like to fly things, be a pilot. If you are pulled toward service, be a policeman or firefighter. If you like to work with your hands, go into the trades.

Yes, you can absolutely can support your family as a tradesman. But only if you are smart about it. Ideally, you get a union job, because they pay far better than non-union, and come with a full benefits. If you do go in for a non-union job, then you must have the intention that after you have worked for several years, learned the trade, and accumulated a bunch of tools, you will go into business for yourself. Self-employed carpenters where I live charge $75 an hour. Self-employed plumbers and electricians charge $100/hour or more.

By the way, single income households get some fantastic tax breaks. That is because the government has not yet figured out how to tax the massive value that home makers create, through all of their hard work. Yes, your overall revenue will be somewhat less with only one income, but then again you will not be paying through the nose for childcare, and take-out meals, because you are too tired to cook.

And if you do make the intention to be a provider, then stay away from drugs and alcohol. They addle your mind, and incline you to be a failure.

Four: Actualization. As a man, it is important for you to actualize the masculine archetype. Among other things, the masculine is the provider and the protector. If both you and your wife work full time, then you are only half a provider. But if you are the primary bread winner, then you are fully the provider. The more that you are able to fully constellate the masculine, the better you will feel, and you can spread that goodness to everyone you meet.

As a woman, it is important for your wife to actualize the feminine archetype. Among other things, the feminine nurtures, and builds relationships. Moms who are the primary home maker, who do not have to be at an outside job 40 or 50 hours a week, have time to really live into the feminine talent for relationship building. They can build all sorts of relationships within their community; get to really know their neighbors, their own extended families, their kids’ teachers, etc. Also they can help their own children with their developing relationships.

Note: This why I have such huge respect for single moms (and single dads); they have to constellate both the masculine and the feminine all on their own, a very difficult task.

I think that the intricate intra-community relationships that moms used to build, back when most of them were home makers, was actually the glue that held society together. Our civilization is going through a tough time right now. Maybe the return of the home maker would go a long way toward helping that.

Five: Health. In my totally unscientific opinion, a home-cooked meal, made from home-grown veggies, is approximately one bazillion times healthier (and several times cheaper) than a take-out meal from just about any restaurant. This is the kind of healthy lifestyle that money cannot buy, that is very much possible in a single-income home, but guaranteed to be a rarity in a double-income family.

A word about terminology: I don’t so much care for the phrase “stay at home mom.” It sounds a little dismissive; like these moms are just at home, with their feet up. How insulting. I think “home maker” is better. Home making is an active, extremely challenging job, at least as difficult to do well as anything that we normally call a “career.” Also, when home making is combined with raising children, it becomes hands-down the most important job in the world, and everything else is a distant 2nd. That is why dads have the honor of making the most important job in the world possible, if they fully embody the role of provider.

Final Note: I do not advocate a return to some sort of archaic past. In this era, freedom must prevail. So everyone, man or woman, must have absolutely free choice as to what sort of education and career they pursue. I simply mention what I think would be healthiest, in my opinion.